Updated: Mar 9, 2021
"Almost there" I said couple weeks ago.
Then I checked with a design editor about my cover I had to make.
He looked at the text and his face told me everything, and he said: "would you like it to have it looking as professional book or as a homemade one?"
On that moment I could feel my Heart and Gut Brain becoming active. My Heart Brain felt rejection from all my hard work I have been putting in and was proud of and my Gut Brain jumped in action from the words “home made” and made the connection: that is not good enough to publish. Result: Stress.
I had less than 2 weeks to have it ready, otherwise I could not have a print version ready for the Project Love Exhibition the 25th in Perth.
So we were in full action, the editor last week and for me this week in checking.
I was happy; the cover is ready and, in my perception, beautiful and the layout was okay, there is an different font, changed layout etc and some minor changes all done... I thought.
Then thunder struck.
My partner was reading the last chapter and was not happy with the structure and she gave me some great advices and they made sense.
Time wise I was not happy at all, as I should deliver my last comments a couple of hours later.
How could I do that?
Again, my Gut Brain felt extremely unsafe, it was saying: “if you do not change it now you will not be happy if you change it you will probably not have the time to do it.”
How do you stay calm in these moments?
Teresa luckily did what I wrote in my book as she was aware, I was in ‘stress’ and my Gut Brain had put a shut down on my Head Brain. So, she could forget any logical approach from me.
She automatically came aware of the number 1 rule of a stressed Gut Brain:
Rule 1: Assess where the other person is. Do they feel safe?
If they don’t, is there something you can do or say that will help their Gut Brain open the door to a connection? Only when the Gut Brain feels safe and satisfied, it relaxes. When it does, it opens the door to the Heart and Head Brains. But when the Gut Brain is alarmed, there is no ‘Us’ but only ‘Me’. It does not matter if you are male or female, the instant we feel unsafe, the Gut Brain takes control. Communication and actions will be entirely focused on getting back to safety.
And applied rule 2: Find the missing need behind the Gut-based behavior/emotion.
It was simple, I just needed the assurance that we could make it.
When she gave that to me and she would talk to the editor I eased down and we went to work and did it.
What can we learn from this, besides that what I write works ? :-)
Even if we know how it works (as I should being the author of the book) we could get trapped in our Gut or Heart Brain emotions and sometimes we need someone else to guide us out.
If you like to read more about this, the Ebook (with the first 2 chapters) is downloadable from my website for FREE. " https://www.pealacademy.com/how-well-do-you-know-your-partner
The real book will be there in 2 weeks.
Many thanks and enjoy the Ebook, it is amazing :-)
What people said about it:
Stuart Padley: It's not just another self help book. It's special.
Margaret Lawlor: Your book is fantastic Christoffel and would highly recommend and really enjoying my advanced training in clinical hypnosis you are so full of amazing insight and knowledge
Michelle Vos-Castle: Love it Really interesting Read in one sitting Like the mix of you and science Is light but interesting